A Resolution Revolution

January 1, 2017January 3, 20174 Comments

When I get time off I want to at least make an attempt to enjoy it. But then I had more time on my hands than I knew what to do with. There were year end reviews to read and too many worst year ever Facebook comments. Then Will from the Pittsburgh Orbit threw down a challenge to create a New Year’s resolution post.

I’m not one to let Will down and I won’t let my readers down either. That’s my first resolution. I resolve to never disappoint my readers. That becomes all the more important after obtaining a reader or two. It helped to have some writing to do since I was almost out of my mind with cabin fever. Have no pity on me. I was high in the mountains looking at picturesque snow and tall trees with the best group of in-laws anyone could want. I was wary because I’ve never made a New Year’s resolution that I didn’t break minutes after ringing in the New Year. The only notable exception being last year’s experience of giving up coffee for a month which might not have even been a resolution in a true sense.

A porcelain head ponders a new year.

In considering resolutions, my first thought concerned boosting my readership. Recently I subscribed to a YouTube channel. It was from a kid who posted a video of herself and a friend running around construction sites and sitting in the seats of bulldozers. I subscribed to offer support. If you know you have more viewers maybe you’re going to up the stunts. The next video I watched involved resolutions. Talking directly to the camera, she resolved to get 5,000 subscribers. Now that’s the kind of number I’m talking about. Once you become a blogger you can get completely absorbed in numbers. My stats offer specifics on how many visits I get and how many times each post is read. I even get pin point data on readers in foreign countries. It’s exciting but also a bit weird to see that someone in Ireland or Japan is checking out my blog. I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve to attract readers. I resolve to make that effort which has no effect on those who are already dedicated readers but an increased audience will improve my morale.

The author revising the revisions.

If you think I should be resolving to create better content my resolution actually involves finding better readers. That was an attempt at humor that has, no doubt, fallen flat and was not meant as an insult to any current readers. Coming up with ideas to write about has challenges but it’s the easy part. Ideas can be a dime a dozen while ideas that work are pennies on the dollar either way they leave me staring at a blank page. I feel like I just hit a cliche trifecta there! But getting started is the biggest challenge which has me resolving to keeping the unexplored angle on subjects of interest and people who don’t get press. Really, I’m looking for stories that write themselves.

The other resolution I can make and try not to break involves specific subjects I plan to tackle. I’ve always planned to run interviews. In the interest of time, the time it takes to transcribe interviews, I plan to keep Q and A sessions to a minimum of three questions. I figure if you can’t get to the heart of the matter in three questions you might be asking the wrong ones. In the interest of saving even more transcription time I may pioneer the yes or no answer interview. The ideal format for that would be 20 questions.

Along with interviews, I resolve to take on subjects that require more research. I hope to get out of my shell and mix it up with people. There have been more few ideas for my “What’s in a Name” category lately. I’m always curious about how people name things. Probably the only subject I’ve written in this style featured this very blog. I’m telling you the origins of names promises to be fascinating.

My last resolution has to be about a continued search for inspiration. As blogs go, I am always inspired by what the Pittsburgh Orbit covers. We’re in different geographic areas but still end up in a similar galaxy. With this recent time on my hands, I had a chance to read many posts from a blog called Bus75. This covers the Portland area along a TriMet bus line. It was sad to see they were taking a break but the quality of the writing and photography would have been enough to wear anyone out. I also just discovered Parkbench which I have not had time to investigate but the interviews with St. Johns business owners they were running looked interesting. This seems like a good way to get connected to a Portland neighborhood. Somehow I’m thinking that anything inspirational will keep me from writing in a vacuum.

Stand in the place where you are.

2016 became a strange year punctuated by an unexpected, for many, election result. It was also a year of never ending celebrity death that shook people up. I had to take stock in what I have, what I’m doing even where I live. When I stopped to take the picture above I did so because I noticed improvements and improvements in progress in the downtown of my Kenton neighborhood. These are small changes for the better despite feelings of uncertainty. It’s time to resolve to take action and get involved in our communities from a local level on up. Demonstrate, hopefully in a Robert’s Rules of Order way more than a random smashed windows way. The calming rants of the heroic Phil Nunnally have offered me guidance and hope. Hopefully others will find this as well. Also, don’t hesitate to become a frequent reader of the Portland Orbit. 2017 is shaping up to be an interesting year and I resolve to contribute as best as I can.

Art box, troll, giant church, red van, ah Pittsburgh.

Need more resolutions that you don’t have to worry about breaking? See the column that inspired this one: www.pittsburghorbit.wordpress.com.

Have a Boozy Holiday?

December 15, 2016December 14, 2017Leave a comment

An alien olive almost captured.

Sometime in late November I looked up and saw the lights. I expect to see lights at Christmas time but it was after seven in the morning. The design was making me wonder what statement was being made. I was looking at a giant martini glass strung over three balconies of an ultra modern, boxy housing complex. Little did I know I’d be obsessing over it trying to get the right photo while discovering the limitations of my iPhone camera.

Who makes the declaration, in lights no less, that the way to holiday enjoyment is through giant martinis with olives bigger than water melons? While writing this I imagined the King of Swing (think that character in the movie Boogie Nights with his robe flying open) with exotic mixed drinks and good times on his agenda, remaining sober enough to hang lights before his holiday binge begins.

From what I can tell the lights stay on all day. I see them lit up in the morning and again in the afternoon as I pass through town and the sun is a half hour from setting. I view it with bemusement but I can’t figure out what it has to do with Christmas other than being a design made out of what most people refer to as Christmas lights. It is festive, fun and a subtle advertisment for people to cut loose and guzzle an oversized libation. There’s no mystery about that. It’s a swimming hole sized martini glass on the hill side that borders on being tacky. Of course there’s a pun in there about this being in the “spirits” of the season. Groan, slurp from martini glass, ahhhhh!

Afternoon martini at an angle.

My effort to get a picture I could use for the blog became my biggest challenge. From the downtown Max stop it was too far away. The distance and lighting conditions in the morning and afternoon made it difficult to capture the true green color of the olive. Let’s face it, that is the nicest touch, otherwise it’s the outline of a glass. The stir stick is another great addition. This is an authentic and huge martini glass so my inability to do it photographic justice frustrated me. I took pictures at the Max stop cropping to produce a never quite right image. I took pictures on the bus as it roared by but that had limitations.

View from a bus with neon.

The last ditch attempt was going to be walking to the bus stop closest to the martini hoping the morning light would cooperate enough for a satisfying shot while allowing for the opportunity to get back to the bus stop in time to get to work.

Above a motel, lives a martini.

On a Monday morning I decided I had 8 to 11 minutes which was plenty of time to get to the next bus stop and get the best picture possible without renting climbing gear. As I approached, the martini glass had the aura of an oasis or maybe a mirage but the pictures prove it’s real. If someone were to climb up the hill and scale the porch they might be rewarded by the King of Swing with an appropriately sized martini or maybe get shot with a foreign made gun of an unusual caliber. I had to cross the tricky intersection of SW 5th and SW Broadway as a car was honking at a bicyclist. There above the motel dead center in my view finder, yet still too high in the sky, was that glass of holiday cheer. The olive was only glowing a slight alien green, details were lost even from that distance. I am happy with my iPhone camera in most circumstances but I also stubbornly refuse to read the manual.

A martini lurks in the morning.

So there you have it folks. If you’re downtown in the PSU area look to the West Hills to see the oversized martini glass. It’s really something in real life. The olive glows a gorgeous green. I could not do it justice, but no photograph could. Kids put down your red solo cups and get classy. Raise a martini glass to this well lit example of good cheer.

Thanks Ken Boddie for posting about this: http://koin.com/2017/12/11/where-we-live-portlands-giant-martini-house/

A year later the real story is revealed.

Happy Holidays to one and all. Indulge yourselves a little bit, in whatever way you see fit, (giant martinis seem a tad extreme) and the Portland Orbit crew looks forward to seeing you or you seeing our work in the new year!

TriMet Tales, Not the Final Chapter (But it Should Be)

December 8, 2016December 13, 2016Leave a comment

15399019_10211748068883540_1477338520_o Photo by Becky Hoven

I bore myself with the stories I have about public transportation. It’s not interesting to those who aren’t immersed in bus lines and breaches of etiquette on the train. By condensing my experiences and employing some snappy editing, I’m hoping to provide a thrill ride of a blog post. I been riding TriMet max trains and buses most weekdays since this school year started. Everyday something happens. There’s a mechanical issue or some one acts out in public and it becomes an epic story of what I endure for my commute.

Maybe because I’m spending an hour each way I’m desperate for a little entertainment. I can equate my travels as a kind of living theater although it’s always improvised. The man who fought so gallantly with the transit employee checking for proof of payment and looking over the old ticket stub he’d been handed was one example. “Give me back my bus pass,” the man demanded before pulling down the red emergency flap to open the door only to be chased and caught. I felt the horror of his situation. If someone took my bus pass I wouldn’t have exact change or any money to get on a bus after work.

Real theater occurred the afternoon I was sitting across from two goth guys–a couple. One of the men was on the phone with his mother making plans to meet up with her and trying to help her confront her fears of dealing with the technology needed to navigate the online TriMet system. His frustration was humorous yet identifiable and riveting. There were hang-ups and his partner tried to soothe him. All the while I was thinking about how goth one of the guys was adorned with multiple gothic accoutrements while the guy on the phone only seemed semi-goth. Did I have a problem with the costume designer in this living theater? Maybe.

There’s dramatic intensity when people want a bus ride but have no money. Nobody rides for free and bus drivers enforce this rule. I witnessed a desperate woman trying to get into the hills of South West. It’s like a mountain up there so who would want to make that climb if you could bum a ride? The bus driver showed no sympathy as he drove off without her. Too bad I never have exact change, I could have paid her fare.

The first couple of months on the train I didn’t see any authorities checking for payment. One recent time, the first guy confronted offered up a crumpled piece of paper and some rambles. It took so long a line of people formed and they all got off at the next stop. My assumption was they took advantage of a getaway opportunity.

That’s my beef about the train. Anyone can ride free risking the possibility that they might get caught. There’s no supervision so you get the early morning electric guitar playing guy, unplugged at least and the drunk man, who pulled out a wine bottle and asked me if 2012 was a good year. I was more flipped out by seeing that the cork was floating in the bottle. Another morning there were two different people on either side of the train engaged in monologues. They were amazing from the snippets I heard. There’s a climate that borders on fear of breaking the silence, especially in the morning. People seem to clam up when others are acting badly. No one was willing to do anything about the two men, under blankets that were sleeping and taking up five seats on either side of the car. My reaction get out at the next stop and move to a different car. When I got off the train that morning I looked back through the window and saw the two guys, still asleep, taking up space. I’m not sure who is supposed to police this kind of thing. It may not be a big deal to let people sleep unless you really need a seat that morning.

Taking buses and trains means you get to have run-ins with a regular cast of characters like the guy who wears beige overalls every day. A guy wearing the MC Hammer pants shocked me. It might have been because he was normal from the waist up. I looked down and saw the puffery and the intricate and flamboyant design of the garment. The tapering around the ankles was a give away but not even Hammer would be caught wearing Hammer pants theses day. Most days I appreciate a bit of weirdness and hope for what I call “bus luck.” Bus luck is getting to a train or bus stop as the vehicle is rolling in as opposed to approaching a stop as a ride is pulling away resulting in a 13 to 16 minutes while sitting on a wet bench.

I wrote about Trimet in the past after having minimal public transportation experience. Everything seemed exotic and strange, every experience magnified. Years of being a bike commuter left me little need for buses and trains. Now I have a route all mapped out that works. Despite break downs, weather challenges and the odd behavior to witness the system is pretty good. The effort to try to get so many people where they need to be is ambitious. During rush hour there’s usually a bus or train every 15 minutes with multiple bus routes that can get me in the same general vicinity. And yeah, it probably takes three times as long but at least I’m not driving. I have time to practice karate, play an electric guitar, work on a monologue out loud if I prefer or write my next blog post on my phone with my thumb. I usually keep to myself at the risk of boring anyone.

Yard d’Art

December 1, 2016June 3, 20212 Comments

Simple, basic yard art, my favorite kind, can be elevated to a higher level (of what I’m not sure) when it’s referred to as d’Art. I have to admit I borrowed this upscale reference from a friend, Jeff Bagato, who wrote the book Garage d’Art.

In this post, I highlight the “less is more” approach. I appreciate crazy, cluttered and over decorated yards, and I hope to write about them in the future. For this piece though, I’m focusing on yards featuring only an object or two. It might be a focal point, a subtle display piece or a visual pun. It’s worth noting that a single decorative object can really tie a yard together.*

Easter Hat

Anything Easter Island related comes with a built in legend about giant stone heads and the mystery of how they got there. Images of those statues are burnt into my brain. They mystify me and inspire me. They remind me there is still some mystery left in this world. When considering Easter Island, I know there has to be more to it. The local tourist bureau might consider updating and building a newer tourist trap or landmark for the 21st century. In the meantime, I can’t help marveling over anything resembling one of these odd stones especially when I don’t have to travel far to do so. This one in Kenton sits, or stands, at the base of the steps and basks in the shadows. It gives me the feeling of having arrived on the island after many months at sea to commune with primitive art forms, all without having to leave my neighborhood.

Kitten Kabuddha

The smiling cat helps me pause and remember to breathe. The cat looks like the happiest, best fed cat I’ve seen in a long time. That smile is contagious. That look of contentment is something that could last a lifetime if the statue receives proper care and nobody drops it. It looks like a Buddha parody or an actual Buddha for the feline set. I’ll have to ask a Buddhist cat.

Headless Lambs

A sheep and a lamb lie down together in peaceful bliss on the grounds of a Lutheran church in northeast Portland. They remain there, in the elements, steadfast and stoic despite their heads having fallen off. How do stone heads even fall off? My mind immediately flashes to some troubled teens vandalizing sacred symbols on church grounds, but I continue to this day to believe their heads wore out and crumbled off their scrawny necks. It makes more sense to replace these symbols of Christ’s love and bucolic barnyard beauty with some fresher statuary especially now that they’ve been lovingly mocked in the pages of some random blog.

Duck and Cover

This duck is a classic. He has an antique look. If he’s a drake then he has awesome guyliner. I guess mascara is more expected on lady ducks. This duck is covered a bit in an ivy and clover mix. I like how he’s having a look around and trying, despite his short neck, to get his bearings. He has a unique, individually crafted look about him with his crackled skin and quiet demeanor. Waddle on my friend, but don’t ever waddle too far from this serene setting.

Unsuspecting Snow White

Here we have two lawn figurines placed together to create a story. I was struck by the unfolding drama. We are freeze framed in a moment, the exact fraction of a second that a bear has wandered up behind Snow White in one of her typical magical trances while spreading her joyous love and affection toward a sweet, tame song bird. Perhaps they are cheerfully engaged in song. Your mind may have created a different scenario. These lawn ornaments allow us to consider an interaction that will never actually happen. Is the bear a friend of Snow White? Can her charms work on this ferocious beast so she can avoid being mauled? Will the bear sneak up on this unsuspecting sweet soul and eat her before she even knows what happened? You’re welcome to your own story if I haven’t covered all the bases. We’ll never really know because we’re dealing with the infinite and frozen-in-time aspect of lawn ornament arrangement.

Stoned Unicorn

I spotted this proud specimen in southwest but he or she could be anywhere demonstrating his or her pride and grace. If this statue were in West Linn, I imagine, it would be a hundred times bigger. I like that it’s small and subtle and caps off a well designed front landscape and porch steps. The Unicorn’s horn isn’t even gold. I’m a stickler for that for some reason. Upon closer inspection it’s off white. Such a minute detail might detract from the overall concept which is simple: a dainty, all white unicorn stands atop a rock pile. It makes me wonder who put the corn in Unicorn? This may be the reason I think all unicorn horns should be gold or yellow.

Dalmation Stationed

This set-up looks like something from the pages of Better Homes and Gardens. Maybe my photo isn’t magazine-ready, but it captures my impression of this side yard outdoor reading nook on N. Williams Ave. The burst of red from the chair, the plantings and flattened turtle plant stand along with the faithful, oversized antique dog figurine all combine in a fit of savvy decorating and create an inviting place to lounge with a dog statue.

Dalmination

The dog is chipping and peeling in a way that fits his breed. You know, Dalmatians are already spotty. It’s another case of something becoming more interesting to look at as it ages. We find this patient companion on the verge of bursting into fits of joy when his owner arrives.

Keep Yards Weird

Sometimes you end up wondering about what people place in their yards. Yard art will always entertain me, but some objects also make me scratch my head. The first is kind of a standard. I’ve seen a few and get the sense it’s a good natured commentary about a woman bending over, maybe to do some gardening, and then whoops! Bloomers are showing. Real bloomers might be embarrassing, but wooden, painted ones, well, not that much.

WTF?

This statue needs to remain an unsolved mystery. From a distance and up close, I’m still not sure what’s going on, and I don’t want to know. I was wary of taking this picture because I felt like I was sneaking onto my neighbor’s yard (or it was sneaking into me). I made sure no one was home. How could I explain my interest in their yard d’Art? Or worse yet what kind of conversation would or could we have had about the piece? They moved not too long ago taking their yard ornament with them. Thank goodness! It was in the FRONT yard.

A passerby cannot help but see this boy has his pants down while peering over at the girl who seems unaware. There’s a fence between them, so I’m not sure what he thinks she’s going to see. Already, this analysis has gone too deep and we are uncomfortable. I’ve said too much. You’re on your own to consider any further interpretation. I can think no longer about this statuette.

Simply Keith

In the last of this subgenre of yard d’Art which I call “bare bottoms and bloomers” appearing on lawns and possibly offending the neighbors, we find Keith relieving himself on a chimney. Good job Keith. That’s not the worst part. He’s not even discreet. His fleshy buttocks are exposed due to their inability to hold up his pants. Keith doesn’t seem to know that if you gotta go it’s better to find a bush and avoid disrobing to an alarming extent. To avoid reverse flashing the world, one can opt to leave as much clothing covering sensitive areas as possible. One more thing, Keith, if you decide to go around peeing in people’s yards, it’s probably not a good idea to do it wearing a shirt with your name on it. All of a sudden everyone knows that Keith is the culprit – the reason the grass is yellow and dying over by the chimney. Our Keith: a public urination offender who enjoys a side of indecent exposure. You’re going to jail Keith. Do you hear me, Keith?!!!!!**

*Yes, that was a Big Lebowski reference but something tells me I needed to tweak the phraseology a bit more to appease the achievers out there. Having watched the Big Lebowski this summer at a fake drive-in movie set up at the Expo Center, I gained an appreciation for the cult like aspects of the movie created by rabid fandom. Borrowing a line from that film feels like a given when writing about how one item of lawn art can make or break an exterior space.

**A shout out to neighbor Graham Marks for posting a picture of Keith on Instagram and making me aware of his existence. I eventually tracked Keith down and caught him in the act again!

The Return of The Turkey of St. Johns

November 23, 2016November 28, 20194 Comments

This time of year always has me thinking about turkey. When I think about it I’m trying to figure out who’s cooking it, (never me) and where I’m going to eat it. There’s usually some consideration about recreating the turkey sandwich Thanksgiving from many years ago – our go-to Plan B. It really wasn’t that bad. Lately any turkey thoughts include the Turkey of St. Johns. Last fall, I searched for evidence of a turkey kept in a pen in the front yard of a home in that area. It’s something I remember seeing a long time ago, but years later there was no trace of the avian apparition. I received a tip after posting about it on facebook last year directing me to a street different from the one in my memory. After last Thanksgiving, I rode my bike up and down N. Polk Street to no avail. There weren’t even any neighbors outside to accost with ramblings of pet turkey sightings.

When I feel like giving up on my quest for the St. Johns’ Turkey, I push to go back to the back part of the deep recesses of my memory bank. After waiting in line for an hour, I am led by a doughy bank employee with a tiny key. There, in the back of a box, dark despite the greenish flourescent lighting, is a faint memory that’s getting fuzzy and faded with age. It’s one of an ephemeral, strangely fluffy turkey with plumage that haunts me to this day. Happening upon that giant, lumbering bird gobbling it up on someone’s front yard creeped me out. As much of an impression as that made, all evidence including anyone else’s remembrance has vanished. I’m here to tell you, I saw the Turkey of St. Johns. It was real! Someday I’m going to find that bird.

I believe in the Turkey of St. Johns. The memory year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter—tomorrow, I will ride faster, open up my eyes wider . . . and then one fine morning— So I search on, stumbling against the current, pushed back ceaselessly into the past.

Mystery Businesses

November 17, 2016November 17, 20162 Comments

Where’s the sign?

There are secret businesses operating all over Portland. I know, I know that has the sound of the beginnings of a weird conspiritorial rant but it’s probably not that big a deal. These operations do their thing in nondescript buildings that fit the description that the phrase undisclosed location brings to mind. There’s no prominent identification, no signs so it’s hard to tell what’s going on behind closed doors. My assumption is that the businesses have a name but for whatever reason they’re not telling and I don’t get it.

A lack of signage creates an air of mystery around businesses. You’d think any establishment would want to shout out it’s name to excite the world and get people interested in what they do. My limited business sense tells me signage is important. Is this post a cry for appropriate signage or for any at all? That’s part of my complaint. Come on! Opportunities for graphic art designs to come to life are being thwarted here.

Planning this blog post had me curious about the goings on of these places and their low profile. Sometimes it’s a challenge to determine what happens on the inside of a building. There might be clues but that doesn’t confirm anything.

Everything seems to be about name recognition but these places aren’t playing by these rules. I’m not saying the mystery is bad, it’s more perplexing as to why these places don’t introduce themselves. It keeps me wondering. I may also just be curious or nosy but I feel excluded like these businesses are telling me it’s none of my business.

Food Factory?

Good enough to eat.

It wasn’t a rumor but more of a vague memory mentioned in some Kenton neighborhood news release that a bagel company was moving into our area. It’s still hard to tell. I’ve never smelled bagels baking. I do see kitchen equipment on warm nights when they leave the doors open in the back. Still, why not hang an oversized rendering of the food item being manufactured along with the name of the company? Are the people who work there worried that other people would line up outside the building entrance looking to buy the food product being manufactured. Bagels would be popular so a low profile prevents long lines of unsatisfiable bagel shoppers.

I do have to say this is a great neighbor. They are quiet, they keep their odors to a minimum and if they make bagels, I love them and maybe I’ve had eaten their product somewhere in town.

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Image borrowed from the internet.

The building used to be the home of Branom Instruments. The old sign never shed any light on the mystery of what a Branom instrument is. Despite all this being left in the dark stuff, I’m at least glad to see the building back in action.

Warehouse Stories

Tracks of my tears

This is another one of those locations where I’m relieved to have any business there at all, even if I have no idea what it is. The building, on Interstate Ave, was dormant for too long. When we moved here over eight years ago the previous tenant had something to do with car repair from what I recall. It looked like a cool building and I hated to see it vacant. During those empty years there were exterior paint jobs and graffiti attacks and signs advertising for an occupant. After a few too many years, a crew spruced up the space and cars filled the parking lot along with a shed and a canopy. A mural was added, a nice touch, but it offered nary a clue as to what goes on in the building. I spotted large ceramic jars through a window in the back which might be my best guess as to what they produce.

This place can do what they want as long as they keep the cool 3D mural around.

Bring your 3D glasses over!

Mystery Body Shop

Irregular hours for side jobs, I think.

It’s not much of a mystery because it’s clearly an auto mechanic/body shop that faces Interstate Ave in our Kenton neighborhood. It doubles as a junkyard due to the bumpers and other car parts piled high behind a tall chain link fence. I’m going to bemoan, once again and ad nauseum, the lack of signage but why not display a spiffy name even if it is a laisser-faire operation. There’s something shady about a place that can’t tell you who they are or bother to come up with a name. That has to be the fun part of starting a business. Their anonymity is part of the deal of living in a neighborhood where we’re surrounded by plenty of other nameless neighbors.

Glass Works?

How to succeed in business.

The industrial gray paint job stands out. It appears fresh amidst drab surroundings on Fessenden Ave. Upon closer inspection I could see it wasn’t a shop. The lack of any sign on the building and the blocked off windows revealed nothing. So, here’s a pro tip. If you want to know something you hang around. I kept walking by at lunchtime and one day noticed some glass blowing happening through on open door. This explained the pile of broken glass outside the side of the building.

That’s a pile of glass shards.

Mystery Biz

No sign of business.

This was another business I noticed that didn’t identify itself. I took the picture in passing so I didn’t spend any time to figure it out. There could be a sign around the corner but there’s nothing obvious to me. It’s also an odd mix of architecture that might make more sense based on the tenant.

So you may have already asked yourself why this blogger hasn’t gotten off his duff (that’s an old fashioned word for keister) and done some research or reporting, you know like knock on a few doors. Well, I would do that but I’m leaving said door open for a part two to this post. In time I will find out something that takes the mystery out of these operations and I’ll pass on my findings.

A Message of Mystery: Graffiti Abuse

November 10, 2016July 19, 201719 Comments

My goal in creating this blog is to document creative pursuits. I’m interested in any form of expression. Graffiti keeps sneaking in as subject matter because it’s everywhere and hard to ignore. I worry that in bringing attention to an art form rooted in vandalism, I’m encouraging these efforts, but really, it’s hard to imagine anything that could stop it. The more I live with graffiti and see examples of it that I appreciate, the more tolerant I become.

I’m partial to graffiti that’s clear and easy to understand whether it’s in legible lettering or words that make sense. If you’re dropping Cy Twombly-like scribbles I end up with a giant question mark in my brain. Letters from the English alphabet allow me to consider the message behind the spray painted designs. Often interpretations are based more on my imagination than anything else.

A case for the Abuse graffiti would start with that word. It’s a powerful word that could mean anything depending on the context. Abuse graffiti is usually paired with a second word that compounds the message. The lettering, big, bold and round, is hard to miss. The message seems be spotlighting the world’s wrongs.

Words like deep, mutant and “antsi,” a play on the word antsy, maybe?, add a layer of mystery. These feel like brief poetic phrases that point to an underlying unease. I find it refreshing. Give me something to think about graffiti artists! If you want to shout, get to it. Wake me up with your message and watch me wax Walt Whitman style! These efforts are also appreciated for keeping it clean, not that there’s that much profanity in the graffiti I see.

The abuse graffiti tends to be done in a large format. That takes space and explains why one paint job hijacked a billboard. This earned points for effort and climbing skills. Billboard advertising is often annoying so a bit of “abuse” breaks up the monotony. I noticed the billboard was advertising a health care program. This led me to wonder if our artist is making a political statement or if the billboard represented an opportunistic canvas with better visibility.

Abuse is declared on a variety of surfaces, a fence by the railroad tracks that run along Lombard/Hwy 30, an old warehouse building, another feat of daring in what looks like a medium other than spray paint and the one that bummed me out, the Exotica Strip Club. It was reported (can the Portland Orbit use that word?) on this blog that Exotica was planning to reopen after some renovation. A giant splash of paint, no matter how decorative or even intriguing, is sure to delay those efforts.

In the end depictions of abuse, however intended, can be found graffiti style for those observant folks drawn to street art. Sometimes it’s in more prominent places while other times you have to look for it on the other side of the tracks. Someone out there has a message. The need for people to express themselves against a dark force like abuse gives power to art in any form it takes.

The Emerick Collection

November 3, 2016November 7, 20169 Comments

emmerick-collection-nov-2

If you end up at the Sunnybrook Medical Center it may be due to an injury requiring the services of a trauma surgeon. Or you may have something stuck in your ear, nose, throat or somewhere else necessitating a visit to the ear, nose, throat, or somewhere else department.

Thanks to a display tucked away in the lobby of the ENT department, I learned all manner of objects can be and are lodged in the human body.

The framed story of Dr. Charles Emerick* greets those, suffering and not, who enter. He collected these items during his service at a missionary clinic in India and a Naval hospital in San Diego. His career summited Mt. Scott at Kaiser Permanente where he cached his loot of curiosities upon retirement. The display educates patients, staff, and visitors of the dangers of things and bodily cavities and the coexistence of the two. The origins of this collection, while not discussed in the brief write up, are what intrigue me. That spark, that moment of inspiration when Dr. Emerick committed to starting his collection had me wanting to dig (pun may or may not be intended, I’m just not sure) into this story and uncover more than what the lobby offers.

emmerick-collection-nov-1-2

Thanks to modern technology, I was able to access an article about Dr. Emerick. The old school alternative would have had me in library basement futzing with microfiche and an ancient, bulky machine. I found one secondary source available with ease, an Associated Press article that ran in a Fredericksburg, Va. newspaper in 1997. Dr. Emerick had been retired for seven years. A photo showed him looking over his collection. I read looking for the source of his inspiration to collect what are referred to in the story as “items.” And there it was!** Emerick explained he, “was inspired to keep the items because he heard Dr. Chevalier Jackson, a pioneer in endoscopy, had such a collection.” Note that endoscopy is how an item, once lost in the esophagus, trachea or lung, is located. A hollow lighted tube illuminates the included object; it then takes an additional piece of gear for removal should the object prove an obstruction or irritant or otherwise inconvenient or unwanted addition to the patient.

emmerick-collection-nov-5-2

It’s noteworthy that the AP writer made an attempt to locate Dr. Jackson’s collection which was last seen at Temple University Hospital. A spokesman uttered the sad words, “nothing remains of the collection.” This gives Dr. Emerick’s achievement heightened stature and highlights its remarkable staying power simply persisting in its low key existence, not as some central attraction of a national medical museum but in the quiet confines of Kaiser’s ENT waiting room.

emmerick-collection-nov-4-2

Looking over the items housed in the display case with revolving shelves, the kind of display case you find in antique stores, was as fascinating as it was gross. The first consideration seems to be with the item itself. I thought about the size and shape of the bagged and tagged objects before moving on to contemplate where each was found. It never failed to amaze me.

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It’s rare to see evidence doctors put this much effort into their jobs. Trash cans have been filled so thoughtlessly over the years. Body junk salvaged from many an Ear, Nose and Throat languishes in landfills, yet the experiments and accidents of Dr. Emerick’s patients live on in a display case in Portland carefully preserved and labeled. It is detritus for all time, but also significant and instructive. Whether a pilgrimage must be made to this strange menagerie is up to you unless you’re accident prone or careless with either money or crayons. If that’s the case, a few extra minutes checking out this collection on the third floor could be worth thousands in future medical expenses.

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*After a bit of confusion, I figured out that Emerick was the last name of the doctor and not a medical term referring to stuff lodged in the human body.

**Mrs. Yuchmow having to justify using the word “and” at the beginning of a sentence always makes me try to find a way to not do it, but I needed to add drama to my story and discovering a tidbit of information concerning something I had been wondering about for a long time but hadn’t gotten around to checking out inspired that sentence: And there it was. Yes you told your students in Princeton, NJ, back in the day, that under most circumstances they shouldn’t start a sentence with the word “and.” In this case you should just be glad I didn’t use an exclamation point.

Halloween Spooktacular: Spiders and Ants

October 31, 2016November 23, 20161 Comment

Antique pumpkin equals old and scary.

Initial notes for this post had me jotting down words like “spiders” and “ants.” Is that Halloween enough for the Portland Orbit? Probably not, unless they are giant, made of papier-mâché and set up in someone’s yard or radioactive. I can’t resist a forum for sounding off about insects, though. They have invaded our home. The spiders claim their territory in the backyard. Things were heading over the top when we saw a bird we could have sworn was going to get caught in a web on the roof of the garage. The bird didn’t snack on the spider and vice versa but the drama that unfolded for a minute and imagining what was going to happen became a fascinating live action nature show.

Less scary when they cuddle plants

All who wander aren’t lost. Get lost!

Ants are another story. My future comedy routine will feature material on ants but now all I can say is that they’re freeloading morons. I mean ants, really? You want to crawl around our bathroom sink and eat toothpaste? Ant flavored toothpaste is never going to be a thing.

But is Halloween really about insects? Ghosts and goblins are fine but ultimately I’m not in the mood. My pre-Halloween horrors include soggy socks and a long bus ride with a dripping nose and no Kleenex. Make a haunted house scenario about that!

Porch Attack

When porches attack

Neighbors never fail year after year. This home has created something completely different from the year before. Would I have concerns about being eaten by a porch? This display has me considering that possibility.

Web Central

Web screen induces screams.

Scary scene, indeed.

I don’t suffer from arachnophobia but walking through webs is an icky sensation followed closely by the thought of a spider heading for my face after I’ve invaded her turf. Cobwebs are a staple of Halloween decorating. Web walls conjure up thoughts of a thousand spiders. Throw in a skeleton and I’m keeping my distance.

Hot Corner

Zombie Crossing

Who benefits when next door neighbors throw it down with over the top Halloween decorations? The kids who have to brave these strange scenarios to get treats and onlooking neighbors, that’s who.

Probably not getting married.

Ther are some zombies on one porch and a Beetlejuice looking Gent hanging with a woman holding her own head on the next. It has potential for at least a few scares this Halloween.

The Eyes Have It

Eyes see.

The thought of eyes staring out at passersby is certainly creepy, but when the eyes are Cookie Monster in nature they appear more comical than frightening.

Happy Halloween!

The PRB Variety Hour Interview

October 27, 2016May 20, 20201 Comment

I daydreamed about having a TV talk show in my basement, but I couldn’t escape the obvious creep factor in trying to lure guests to my basement for a “TV show.” Also, I could never get organized enough to make it happen. I have been able to experience hosting an in-home talk show vicariously through Jeff Dodge. He cobbled together his cameras and a rudimentary switcher to broadcast his own show live on his birthday. Ever since he’s been airing the show once a month.

Jeff Dodge, Talk Show Host.

Jeff is a man of many talents. He is a sound engineer, musician, movie director, video producer and now TV talk show host. Although he has yet to break out the solid move of playing the piano while interviewing a guest, pioneered by original Tonight Show host Steve Allen, the thing to know is he could. Jeff combines show host duties with those of band leader (double scale anyone?) for the show’s house band, The Peasant Revolution Band. Dodge plays guitar with them for a few numbers each show.

Push button directing!

As someone who helps produce the show and directs the live broadcast, I get a front row seat to the action. My involvement with the show might explain how I got access to Jeff for an interview.

The Peasant Revolution Band perform on Septeber's grunge themed show.

The Peasant Revolution Band perform on September’s grunge themed show.

The Portland Orbit: My first question which is, I’m just asking, what is the PRB variety hour?

Jeff Dodge: The Peasant Revolution Band Variety Hour is…well first off it was a concept mostly because we were looking around for venues to get a regular gig booked at, after twenty, twenty-five years of being in this town and off and on playing music and finding that it’s still kind of the same old thing, what have you done for me lately, I decided why don’t we do a TV show as a regular gig. That’s one way to have it. We’ll just throw it in my office and shoot it and go live once a month and so far it’s been working great. A once a month gig, it’s the only time I’ve really had that on a consistent basis and it’s actually a lot more work than I was thinking it was. So I’m kind of glad we don’t have any other shows. (Laughs)

The Portland Orbit: What are some of your inspirations for the show?

Jeff Dodge: It’s shaped by a lot of what Zach Galafancous “Between Two Ferns” does. Recent inspiration has been Eric Andre. Our friend Jason Lamb turned me on to the Eric Andre Show, and I think he’s doing some amazing stuff. I think another part of the concept was kind of like the Sonny and Cher Variety Hour I got kind of more turned on to and Steve Allen. I sent a clip to you recently where he does this interview with Jack Kerouac where they’re kind of chatting, and (Steve Allen) is plinking along on the piano and all of a sudden (Kerouac) starts reading and they bust into this whole jazz thing. It’s just great. The band kicks in. I think Steve Allen used to do that a lot just sort of, (goes into Steve Allen impersonation) “okay, we’re having a casual conversation and okay you bore me I’m just going to start plinking along here.” You know it turns into a song. That’s a good idea that I’m trying to bring in with this show.

The Portland Orbit: Oh yeah, that’s, yeah, I mentioned that already in the blog post. (Laughs) That has to happen. So that kind of feeds into my next question. It’s really like what are the inspirations that you get from past talk show hosts and other performers?

Jeff Dodge: Well, I guess I have to say one of the big breakthroughs for me—the past couple of years really, I got into the Andy Kaufman story quite a bit when I realized he was a lot bigger than what Jim Carrey portrayed him as in that movie. I really didn’t like that movie. I had a bad taste for him. I started seeing what he did and what he did on talk shows and really actually at the height of his reign had wonderful relationships with people like Mike Douglas and even Dinah Shore and of course David Letterman and him were great friends. So I think that’s a lot of inspiration that’s been coming as I watch this guy sort of peek around the edges of these establishment shows that are historic, really, and sort of see the nuances for parody. Gary Shandling was another master of the kind of parody I really enjoy.

Monitoring the program monitor.

The Portland Orbit: And what do you like about being able to produce a talk show from your house?

Jeff Dodge: It also doubles as my work office. I’m in there doing video editing and doing all sorts of things of that nature anyway. It’s kind of great that it’s in my home office. I just have to switch gears and everything is not that far away. It gets me to try to semi-clean things up once a month so that’s good and yeah, it’s a short walk to the studio. It seems a pretty central place for the band and guests to meet. It’s just enough space. It’s a little cozy. Cozier makes it, you have to have a bit more focused because of that.

In football it would be a screen play.

The Portland Orbit: I think the other aspect of that question that’s missing really is what do you like about the technical aspects that allow you to broadcast from your home?

Jeff Dodge: My inspirations for this are podcasting in general like what you’ve been doing. I was seeing all sorts of things happening in this election cycle where the Internet is full of basically pirated TV stations, people just kind of breaking loose and doing their own videocast whether it’s through Facebook or YouTube and multiple generations and multiple countries and groups and yeah, it’s just wonderful. It’s like TV is getting put in the hands of the people. There’s just a huge variety of it. I think the fact that all this software is coming through these media platforms is creating a lot of opportunity that wasn’t there even a couple of years ago. So I’m taking advantage of that and then the hardware aspect of it is I’m using standard def cameras, any camera, running everything through an analog processing thing it’s not much different from what the TV stations use, it’s all 720p for them anyway even though they get all this fancy HD stuff to work with. We’re still all watching low resolution so I’m taking it all and sending in down the pipeline, doing it all on the cheap and easy. It’s free and all the software platforms are allowing for that so it’s great. It’s a wonderful time to bring those two together.

The Portland Orbit: Very good, okay, I love that. That’s a good ending there. (Laughter.)

Jeff Dodge: I could go for hours.

* * * * *

Jeff generally broadcasts on the last Tuesday of the month. He jokingly referred to the next show’s air date as October 32nd but he’s actually hitting the “internetwaves” on Tuesday, November 1st at 9pm PST. For more information see: http://trenchdigger.us/prb-variety-hour-show.html

UPDATE: The show now airs on the last Monday of every month.

P.S. Not to go unmentioned are the contributions of drummer Rich Reece and bassist Steve Cebula who make up the rhythm section of The Peasant Revolution Band. During the show they offer commentary and make quips. Reece plays more of an Ed McMahon role while Steve is more in the Tommie Newsome territory. To understand that reference you would probably need to have had parents who nodded off to the Johnny Carson show on many a night in the 70’s.

P.P.S. Right after I turned off the recorder, Jeff threw out a nod to SCTV (Second City TV) as an influence. The Canadian show starred the likes of John Candy, Rick Moranis, Eugene Levy and Andrea Martin among others. It also ran fake commercials, which I didn’t remember. Here’s one I created for the Peasant Revolution Band Variety Hour: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pub-zD0hR5U

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