What’s in a Name? The Art of Naming a Network

I’m unsure what led me to the subject matter of this blog post. Was I trying for free wi-fi? Regardless I discovered my phone could root out wi-fi networks. I get a kick out of the creativity that goes into naming them. I’m a bit apprehensive due to my limited technical knowledge when talking about computer jargon but right there on my phone it lists available, although mostly locked, networks. If I’m confused, this post will be downright embarrassing but even I have enough knowledge to know that setting up a router and a modem equals a network. Heck, we even named ours after one of our pets. That network will remain undisclosed to keep the hackers at bay. 

Finding network names is as easy as pressing the settings button on my phone then hitting the wi-fi button. A list pops up with names that are sometimes memorable. Other namers use their own names or leave the network naming to a default setting. Looking up network names is a fun game to hunt down goofily named networks, the creative ones and the names that are downright offensive.

Punny Named Networks

The puns are the best and they sure test my computer terms knowledge in order to get the joke and yes, networks are also know as Local Access Networks.

Obscenity Trials and Errors

These freak me out. Don’t people know other people can see the names of their networks?

The above was all the more shocking to me because it appeared in the area of an elementary school. When talking to Pittsburgh Orbit’s Will Simmons he commented that Christine needs to step up her game. It’s not my business what people do in the privacy of their own home, just don’t name your network after it.

There’s no decorum when naming a network. I’m not really sure what this refers to, so shake away.

What a fine name, I guess, if you’re feeling honest or realistic about how you use your network.

Sometimes rhyming words stuck together are funny.

I’m sure I had run ins with guys like Hugh and Phil as I attempted to learn student’s names when I was a substitute teacher. This is a middle school level of sophistication. Then again, if your last name is Mungus how could you resist naming one of your kids Hugh?

All I can say is stay out of my hen house!

Funny Not Punny

It’s blatantly obvious that people celebrate their vices through their network names.

Um, I guess it depends on what you’re smoking or what’s burning.

 

Thanks for letting me know!

It occurred to me that I should have a separate category for ham references. I’m surprised I didn’t find homages to bacon. 

Work Beefs

Who wants to be reminded of a bad work experience when dealing with their network? I’m guessing this isn’t a corporate network. 

Animals

Who ever thought you could name a network after a pet or any animal for that matter?

This has to belong to a sports fan.

This network has to belong to a cat fan.

Maybe there’s a Thundercougarfalconbird fan out there!

Well, this one is cute. It’s from one of our area animal hospitals.

Two of my favorite things combined in one network. If cakes and dogs were actually combined there would be even more biting going on.

From an unknown network, a new canine superhero emerges.

It’s hard for me to imagine a tough Moose. They’re more gangly and intimidating due to their size. This theory is based on an actual observation from this summer.

I’m not sure what Piggyboy9913 is up to. Maybe liking pork too much?

Surveillance Van Network Names

What is it with surveillance and van’s being used for names of networks? Something feels sinister about it. It’s as if someone wants a surveillance van in their neighborhood hacking into their network or watching them as they access the internet. How does Justin Bieber get his own surveillance van? Does he hang out there when he’s not on tour?

Weird Mystery

Are we speaking Italian here? Is it a name? An Italian name? This mystery can only be solved by Justin Bieber Surveillance Van 7.

Most of us would agree that Chombi is a fine name for a computer network. It’s the first thing that comes to anyone’s mind when making that split second, off the cuff network naming decision while wrestling with moden, routers and technology. It wouldn’t surprise me if all networks were named Chombi. It’s perfect.

For those of us who grew up the TV show Father Knows Best this phrase sounds familiar. It’s almost like a Rorschach test in how you might think about the use of the word Daddy. This might belong in the Obscenity Trial and Error column.

Jesusiscomingsoon, as if you need a reminder every time you access your network? Some people are so impatient.