The End of Summer: Sigh, A Sign Round Up

I never complained about this summer’s heat. It’s a memory I’ll need some cold, damp, March afternoon when I’m half way between this summer and the next one. I opened my mind to the sun light and tried not to think. Appreciating the last of this summer has led me to post something requiring the least energy possible.

Caution Step Up Then Down

This homemade/handmade sign provides a valuable public service. Placed on a side door of a bar on North Lombard Street, the message could become more confusing as the night wears on. The caution warning alerts people to the need for the tricky two step dance necessary to get through the entrance.

No Dumping By Order of City Eng’r.

This sign caught my eye on Willamette Boulevard. The road is on the top of a sloping hill that runs down to an industrial ravine. It’s sure to tempt polluters or anyone who needs to dump something in the underbrush. I found amusement from the sign’s need to include a mention of the City Eng’r (City Engineer?). It’s tough to tell if this is an intimidating enough authority figure to get people to heed this warning.

Watch For Pedestrian

I don’t doubt there’s a need to warn people to watch out for pedestrians on this tricky corner of the St. Johns neighborhood near the bridge. I couldn’t tell if this was poor planning on the part of the sign maker or if there are fewer pedestrians than one would expect.

If You’re Not Outraged…

I don’t know the history of this incident but it’s worth noting that this sign spotted near the Lloyd Center has either survived since 2007 or someone continues to bring attention to the situation. The outrage feels never ending and the reminders always necessary.

Drop Your Pants Here

In the days of #metoo, this sign seems a bit crass but it’s the nature of this dry cleaners to risk letting the world know they have a sense of humor because, well, they spend their work days in the confines of a dry cleaners. It’s nice to try to loosen up a little bit although not to the point where one takes the sign literally. If the photo looks a bit too much like an advertisement I can attest to the work they do, which is, pretty good.

Stick With It

Not so much a sign but a message applied to a garbage dumpster in the Kenton neighborhood. Anyone seeking out inspiration on a dumpster would usually be out of luck but a trash receptacle bearing this message has a certain inspirational quality not usually found on dumpsters.

Notice of Free Range Rabbit

Having spotted this next to the curb on the outskirts of Kenton, I assumed the sign was staking out parking territory. Seeing it up close, I was surprised to learn about the parking strip maintainence performed by a free-range rabbit who’s whereabouts were unknown at the time I took the picture. I’d say only Jimmy Carter should heed a beware of Bunny message. My preference would be to remain mindful of the rabbit’s maintenance munching.

Got Laundry?

Oh to the ad campaign that lunched a thousand, or more, parodies. This one is funny to a certain someone I know. It seems to be trying to remind people driving down North Lombard Street to round up their dirty clothes and head back to the laundromat.

Jesu Loves

The grape vine obscures a handsome sign with an uplifting message spotted  in the Kenton neighborhood. You can tell I didn’t leave the neighborhood much this summer. The sign may yet return to glory when the leaves die back.

Please Stop Stealing  


It’s a shame someone has to post this kind of message. It’d be nice to think that people could leave their stuff out and not have to worry about theft. Another sign of the times seen in the Kenton neighborhood.

Please Do Not Steal the dogs water dish!

More theft to report, with this occurring down the road in a no man’s land between the Kenton and Woodlawn neighborhoods. It almost doesn’t matter what thieves steal. It’s always annoying.

Try Vegan

The camera optics at dusk aren’t always great but this is a cardboard plea near the Lloyd District that’s polite and offers a low frill, yet ultimately high tech way to explore the vegan lifestyle. Is the hash tag going to get you propaganda? Recipes? There’s only one way to find out.


Sure it’s good information, a notice that surely has saved many lives. The sign straddles the tracks by the North Denver Max station. This blurry photo reveals that if you only stop for half a second, or less, you can get away with standing next to the sign without violating the sign’s strict request.

Punny Business

What the cluck? I mean how could anyone resist putting that phrase on a banner and stringing it above the entrance to a chicken restaurant. This post is focused on puns used by businesses to enthrall, entertain and inspire us to become customers. It seems only fair to consider what a pun is and isn’t. My big, red dictionary, a gift from Mrs. Reser years ago, defines it as the humorous use of a word in such a way as to suggest different meanings or applications or of words having the same or nearly the same sound but different meanings. This definition will be applied to see how well these puns work.

While it seems like a good pun may depend on a person’s sense of humor, the idea of puns used by businesses have the potential to be the kind of stuff that would cause viewers of Good Morning America to spit their coffee in hysterics. Puns are big business. They create smiles. They help people remember your business and get people talking about it. Making people happy creates a desire to spend money. Puns will make you rich. Use them to spread joy and good humor throughout the world. Be clever with the language, and the people of earth will laugh along with you and throw money at your feet. Somehow, in all that, I managed some pun free copy. So, brace yourself, a pun overdose is about to kick in.

Puns that Cuss

What the Cluck?

How can you not appreciate a pun that references profanity? It employs bad taste with good humor. “What the Cluck?” is the right message for a banner on a chicken restaurant. It sounds like what chickens actually already say to each other in the barnyard.


Shih Tzu has always been a funny name for a dog breed and, as I learned from auto-correct, hard to spell without using profanity. I originally left out that pesky silent “h.” The word has a sound halfway between a swear and a sneeze which suits this type of dog well. This sign was spotted outside a Vet’s Clinic at Hayden Meadows where it sure seems like you’ll have a good chance of working with a veterinarian that will laugh with your pet instead of at it.

Dog Puns

Howliday Inn Lettering

In the Central Eastside business district you have a doggie day care facility/hotel with a clever name. I have to digress by saying that I can’t say dog day care, it always has to be doggie for some reason. The business name seems to be a combination of a reference to a Bing Crosby movie and the reaction guests have when their owners drop them off.

Expressoing Yourself

Expresso Yourself sign

Yes, you might end up expressoing yourself especially if you speak with an Italian accent. You may well express yourself better if you drink expresso. A sign at the T.J. Maxx keeps it simple and begs you to buy the sign, take it home and hang it in your kitchen above the coffee maker.

Posies sign pun

A sandwich board outside of Posies goes for the gold. In fact, I just caught the last pun by studying my photo extra hard. The message ends with, “It’s a latte” and it is a lot to take in. To translate, the sign says: “I can’t express how much you mean to me, but I can try. It’s a lot.” By now you know how puns work so you’ve, or I have, figured out that the keywords are words pertinent to coffee shop nomenclature. It’s a colorful sign too. It inspires me to want to drink expresso, coffee and possibly a latte. I’ve never been much of a chai person.

Maxx for the Minimum

If you spend anytime at all at T.J. Maxx you may find strange objects mixed in with bargains. You might try to imagine for them a new owner and where and how this person might use the door knocker in a bikini or the grill cleaning brush with a gorilla sculpted into the handle.  It might seem like it would take a lot of imagination.


Consider this spoof of the second greatest line to come out of “Jerry Maguire.” Not to be out-shined by all the cute kid antics, Tom Cruise and (don’t forget) Renee Zellweger, was the script with a couple of famous lines. When a mixed-up in love character played by Renee Zellweger delivered the line,“You had me at hello,” no one was able to resist repeating it, spoofing it and mangling it for the rest of the 90’s and possibly beyond. “You Had Me at Merlot.” Is it even a pun? I don’t know. I’ve gone insane. It’s the sign version of a wine bottle upside the head. Nevertheless, it is nice to think that you could buy something like this and hang it in your wine cellar because the joke would never get old.

Inspired Maturity Sign Says #4

o theater level

I went to an art show at a tea shop across the street from the Oregon Theater so the I, Anonymous column that appeared in the Portland Mercury last week made much more sense. I’d heard about the Oregon Theater and I’d always look for it when I drove down Division Street, but I had not considered what to me is a humorous sign.  It reads “Films for Mature Adults.” It made me wonder if they test maturity levels at the door before people are allowed to enter, or if the movie audience is made up of Senior Citizens. It’s a safe bet that they are a mature bunch. That sign had me pondering what a theater for immature adults would show, Adam Sandler movie marathons, maybe?

I know the Oregon Theater is a porn theater, but I love any old theater building and I’m happy it’s an active business. I could see where a few more upscale places have crept in and that it may not be the greatest neighbor, but the building looks cool. When I lived in Alexandria, Virginia I used to go to a theater that showed Adult films but that was because one of the four screens in the theater was dedicated to art movies. Eventually it was torn down to make improvements to the shopping center. I’m hoping this isn’t the fate of the Oregon Theater.  I’ll probably never go to there, not even to fulfill an inkling of curiosity or even to provide content for another blog post. I’m afraid I might not be mature enough.

o theater close up
Here’s the link for I, Anonymous. Please click on the illustration by one of my heroes Kallah Allen

Speaking of Division Street, I never miss an opportunity to post a link to this song:

Sign Says…#3

I’ve imagined this blog as a counter-culture anecdote to internet puppies and kittens but then my thoughts concerning local issues have begun boiling and I’ve ound myself with a forum where I can offer commentary.  Before writing with more depth I’ll send out some sign photos that have been back logging my blog topics file.

garden sign

Yes, I agree don’t eat from anyone’s garden, unless you have a dinner party invitation or permission. But how is any one to resist a sidewalk salad right there on the street?

gas sign

It’s easy to imagine a dog tied up on a gas meter getting excited, breaking a pipe and then someone dropping a cigarette causing a raging inferno that burns down half of St. Johns. I can see this happening quite easily so maybe the sign should have a frown on it for God’s sake.