February 2022 – Portland Orbit

Twice The Inspiration
(Photo by Willard Simmons)

The challenge came over the wire from the Pittsburgh Orbit about running parallel Daily Double stories. This left me confounded. It sounded like a Pittsburgh thing but this date, 2/22/22 is magical, so full of 2’s and Pittsburgh Orbit head honcho Willard Simmons later explained that a daily double references anything involving the number 2, doubles or twins. He left the rest to my imagination and modern research techniques. The internet sent me on multiple goose chases, funny Willard said this idea was inspired by his spotting a double goose.

This Twosday on a Tuesday may have you soon sick of twos. You’ll be begging for a three by the end of the day. Imagine the Two for Tuesday marathons and the prattling disc jockeys. The local classic rock station, The Eagle, 106.7, should be reminded not to mix old and new Van Halen tracks and I’d always follow up a Volume One Greatest Hits Eagles tune with a song from Volume Two but that’s just me. Sigh, I suppose radio programming is yet another thing left to the algorithms. It also has to be the best day ever to celebrate two for the price of one tacos. BOGO (Buy One Get One Free) has tried to take the twos out of the two for one deals but NOT today!

The Second City

Portland is the other Portland, not the original Portland. Most of us know the story about a couple of Easterners flipping a coin to see whether they were going to call the city Portland or Boston. There’s little confusion between the two cities besides the occasional internet search mix ups. There are plenty of other Portlands including one in England that has a Bridge Pairs tournament. When this headline caught my eye: The Portland Police Respond to a Bar Fight–Twice, it took double checking to realized it’s the wrong Portland Police. Multiple Portlands can get confusing.

Double Up!

As if this piece isn’t listicle enough, here’s a list of establishments in Southeast Portland that use double names. Double your pleasure today and while you’re at it, make it a double.

Twin Sisters In Folk: The Shook Twins

No Mirrors Involved
(photo by Summer Wuerthner Courtesy of the Shook Twins)

I wish I could tell you more but I take these folks to be a folksy band utilizing twin harmonies and the secret weapon in their arsenal–the use of oversized percussive eggs to drive their rhythms. My giant egg fascination began when I learned about the band from an OPB Arts Beat segment that aired in 2012. I’m trying to spare you a Nelson reference but it hit me that they have to be the most famous current twins-in-a-band band that I know. My labeling the band as folkies hardly seems fair. Their music has evolved over time as this video, which plays around with twin imagery, demonstrates.

Twice the Crime

Portland Twin Gang Members

This feels like doubling your trouble and nothing I want to mess with but twins work together in many ways, not always the preferable artistic ones.

Robbed Twice in a Month

As if one robbery wasn’t enough having to go through it all over again seems especially difficult. It’s scary out there. These are desperate times even for blog post subject matter.

Dribble Doubles

Double Red Ale

Of course this post is going to channel a beer reference. More research is needed to determine what actually gets doubled in this ale recipe. I’m sure I could get a soliloquy out of the beer guy at Barbur World Foods. Double Red Ale sure seems twice as exciting as your basic Red Ale.

A Portland Pilot Triple Doubles

Maybe this is ultimately going to work better for a different month, 3/22/22 perhaps but I’ve gotten so excited about doubles that I’m exponentially impressed with three of them. This probably happens every night for LeBron, but it’s cool to see a local kid having a great night on the court.

Twice Delayed

I’m so sorry to have to reremind people that Celine Dion hasn’t been able to perform in Portland lately. The Oregonian reported that her whole “Courage World Tour” was cancelled due to health issues. Now she may not perform at all in Portland in the foreseeable future. One of my goals is to help people learn. Sometimes it’s trivial stuff. I’ve learned that Celine Dion fans are known as Celiniacs. If you haven’t already forgotten that fact you’ve learned something as well.

Not Just A Tennis Thing

When I hear the phrase doubles I always think of tennis. I was surprised to learn people can double their fun while bowling. Doubles has to be about a combined scores and not two people working together to roll a ball down the alley.

A Pair Of Laughs

Under a search of “Portland pairs” nothing of significance popped up besides a ho-hum, Portland pair being charged with meth dealing. Then the random nature of this exercise revealed an Oregonian link to YouTube video of a clown addressing the City Council at a hearing. I got as far as hearing that Ronnie the Clown, in full clown makeup, talk about insurance issues related to injuring his funny bone. I had to stop watching. The cringe factor made me uncomfortable especially when I anticipated the reactions and non reactions of Portland’s stilted elected officials. When I had another peek I saw Ronnie the Clown graciously yielded a third of his three minutes while managing to nominate the Mayor for Clown of the Year and read a proclamation to “immediately instate him as an honorary Clown Commission.” Ronnie’s appearance was met with indifference proving City Council affairs are truly humorless.

Honorable Mentions: Twos, Twices and 2.0’s.

Portland Timbers 2 are the reserve squad for Portland’s major league team.

Courtney Taylor-Taylor, the singer and guitarist for The Dandy Warhols.

Portland 2.0, a cryptic, joint venture between Oregon Public Broadcasting and Portland State University. tackled issues concerning Civic Infrastructure.

Local Business Gets In On The Act!

The New Seasons grocery store gets in on the act with a nice use of the numeral 2 instead of the word two. Make plans to get there and you’ll run into me. I love those double points!

2 Years Of COVID

In a stunning two year COVID transition I went from sauve sophisticant on Valentine’s Day of 2020 to middle aged grunge rocker exactly two years later in 2022. That’s what the pandemic did to me. It’s been a tough couple of years but we are all, for the most part, muddling through. Now if I could only find that Tad album!

In Through the In-Store

Not related much to a specific combination of twos unless you consider this math problem: 2 American Creep Van Albums multiplied by 2 American Creep Van Albums equals 4 American Creep Van Albums! Can you believe there here have already been four American Creep Van recordings released?

Twin Brothers in Rock

This has nothing to do with Portland but since we’re celebrating all things twins, twos and doubles here’s one last chance to celebrate this Day of the Twos.

Head to 1:25:20 of this video for more entertainment than you can possibly stand:

Production Notes:

I think it’s clear that my transplant self is suffering from a blind spot as to a Portland landmark or institution that fits this category. After an especially tough week of work–working twice as hard as I should have to, I suffered from an inability to, well, think. Please take me to task and point out any glaring errors. I certainly appreciate the inspiration I got from Willard Simmons to even tackle this piece and make a deadline. This piece ended up shedding light on a realization that Portland doesn’t have to keep it weird, it is and will always be weird. Head over to the Pittsburgh Orbit for their take on this subject.

Feel The Difference (Photo by Ronna Craig)

I make one bad joke in the grocery store about having to take up hunting because of inflation and days later I see a deer with huge antlers crossing a SW street on my way home from a pizza run. I never see antlers. It’s usually females grazing on the sides of roads. This was a reminder of another kind of deer that I’ve been obsessed with for a long time: The concrete lawn deer. This deer has no reason to exist other than a decoy of sorts. Do people really want someone shooting towards their front porch? Or do these deer keep other territorial deer off people’s property? Let’s not overlook them as a mighty fine lawn decoration.

I’ve managed to avoid buying a lawn deer. The closest I’ve come has been the above thrift store craft creation and yet I’ve never been able to get enough of this kind of deer. One lawn deer would be a gateway to a flock, or a herd all collected up in yard space, concrete and bad paint jobs. They are easier pursued by camera as they pose on people’s lawns and never startle. I may never know why people display these creatures. I blew a chance to ask a direct question while in a giant, roadside store in North Carolina, a place known for cheap towels.There in the lawn deer section I noticed a man cradling a find. It was my chance to pick his brain. I anticipated the weird conversation that was sure to ensue so I held back only to be haunted all these years later. Shyness has no place in real journalism. Now I leave it up to the idea that this is how people choose to decorate their yards. I benefit by getting to hunt lawn deer.

This deer hung out in an inaccessible courtyard at George Middle School in St. Johns when I worked there. It’s not like I would have been able to pet the guy, but he remained mysterious from his psychedelic paint job to his unknown origins. It was always great to admire this concrete landmark from various perspectives around the school’s hallway intersections.

Way out in the Beaverton suburbs this poor deer looks abandoned on the other side of the sidewalk and propped up against a tree. She’s beat up, moss covered, ensnared in a tree limb, not quite the cozy confines of other deer but she survives. Perhaps this orphaned looking deer will find a better home someday.

The exact location of these specimens is not clear. Memory is cloudy and nobody really has to know. Our research department is head scratching and full of regret for not using the location setting on the iphone back in the day. Regardless, here’s proof that concrete deer are not just for lawns. Decorating tip: They can be placed near steps or on porches. The configurations have proven to be endless. It is nice to appreciate faded colors and fallen antlers. The state of decay take on lives of their own and builds character.

Deep in the heart of the Arnold Creek neighborhood where things get more rustic the deeper you go, these lawn deer blend in resembling wildlife. They impersonate, posing with chests out and heads held high, scanning their surroundings against the backdrop of a house’s stone exterior.

You can’t make a blanket statement about the way Hillsdale residents dress their lawn deer when you only have one example of a dressed deer. No matter, this interests me. I see so few lawn deer wearing clothing of any kind. This addition is an attempt to liven up the statue with a colorful floral pattern and some flower antlers.

This old mainstay in the Kenton neighborhood stands close to the Buddha mural. It’s a classic with nice coloring and a pleasant face and snout. This deer is hanging out doing its best lawn deer thing which means it looks decorative. Its brown coat mixes in well with its brick surroundings.

Here’s one of my favorite lawn deer in the Portsmouth neighborhood of North Portland. This deer is surrounded by all the trappings of yard decor. The concrete bench, the picket fence, the plantings, the block steps and the windmill in the background. It blends seamlessly to keep the deer half in a natural setting and half in a well decorated naturescape. This setting is pure serenity. I feel it when I remember the times I happened passed this lawn deer.

These are the great decorative elements of Doctor Creature and the gang, the folks who owned the art car The Space Taxi. They had a decoration party/cook out a few years ago. I found them to be warm and friendly and their home was full of tasteful yard decor. This deer in particular seems so serene, oblivious to the nearby skulls indicative of a fate that awaits any of us who aren’t cast in concrete and displayed on someone’s lawn.

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Portland Orbit

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Month: February 2022

Twofer Two, Two Two, Two Tuesday: Daily Doubles for 2/22/22 (The Portland Orbit Edition)

Deer Hunting in Portland